This blog is dedicated to those of you who really want to be healthy... not just look it.
It is amazing sometimes what we can learn from different life experiences. My life has dramatically changed over the last few months with the event of my son's birth. It was an incredible miracle that would take too long to tell here but I would like to share that my son seems to be doing fine. The circumstances of his birth caused him to spend a month in the NICU and to revisit the hospital several times since he has been home. I am so grateful for his sweet spirit in my life. Needless to say, my life has changed significantly since. I have had several experiences over the last few months that have helped me to re-evaluate my understanding of what it means to be truly HEALTHY. I feel the need to share what I have learned about how health is more then just eating right and exercising...
I will never forget the joy I felt the day my son was born. I have never felt so much happiness. Even the prospect of him having to stay in the hospital for a time couldn't detract from the special feeling I felt in bringing life into the world. He was beautiful. His tiny hands and feet were so perfect and holding him gave me a peace that nothing in the world could compare to.
After his birth, when I could finally stand, I remember looking in the mirror. I would be telling a lie if I said that I wasn't a bit disappointed with what I saw. My body still looked pregnant! You couldn't even tell I had had a baby! Not only that, but I was tired and hunched over with soreness. The IV they had put in my arm had made my face and hands swollen and huge! I was pale and could barely walk down the hall supported by a wheel-chair. Then I looked into my eyes... I could see reflected there the joy I felt and the peace that was in there. I could see my own new-mother glow...and I felt beautiful. In the world's standards I was falling apart and had little beauty to offer. Gone were the nice muscles and the flat tummy, but I had gained so much more.
Health is about this kind of love, this kind of living.
The peace from my baby's birth carried me for a while as I dealt with the struggles of having a baby in the hospital. However, recovering from a c-section, spending all my time at the hospital, staying up all night to make sure my baby got fed, and worrying about my baby's health, finally started to take a toll. All of this caused me to stop taking proper care of myself and my needs. My emotions started to struggle too. I began to allow outside influences to take away my happiness. I felt pressure from sources like pinterest, and movies that made me feel that I my body wasn't beautiful anymore. Despite the miracle that my body had accomplished, I began to feel frustrated that my body would never be the same again. I was unhappy as I tried to please these outside sources. I didn't feel good. In fact, I was in constant turmoil over how my body had changed. I hate to admit this, but I feel like I should, just in case someone out there feels this way. It is rough sometimes to always keep a good perspective on life... and that is what happened to me...and my health was suffering because of it. I was sacrificing health for superficial vanity.
I want you to all know that it isn't worth it.
I decided it was time for me to really evaluate what was happening to me. At only six weeks postpartum, I realized that I expected my body to already look like my pre-pregnant body. I was so anxious about the changes my body had been through and was worried about getting my body back to my "old self" right away. I was embarrassed whenever people would stop by to visit and see that my body was still "looking" pregnant. I felt like everyone was staring at me and making negative judgments about my body. I felt ashamed about my looks, when just six weeks earlier I had been proud of my cute tummy and growing body. Now, I was embarrassed by it. However, six weeks was not enough time for much of anything to happen and I was obsessing over unrealistic expectations. I felt that something needed to change... and it wasn't my body... It was my attitude. I had just experienced a special miracle and created another human being!!!! This kind of thing is so incredible, yet there are so many sources telling you to forget the miracle of it all and feel ashamed.
Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who has stood by me throughout this whole thing. He helps me to look at the blessings. He also helps me to see that the real beauty is in the fact that my body HAS changed.
It has done, and is doing a lot of work, and I am growing in gratitude for the evidence of that work.
When my baby was in the NICU, I would tell him that mommy had a big smile on her tummy where he was able to come out. A miracle smile. Some might say it is a scar, something I should feel has disfigured my body... But it isn't. It is a beautiful miracle. Without it, my baby boy would not be here. I am so grateful for that.
I am grateful for the beauty of sacrifice.
I am grateful for the beauty of change.
I am grateful for the sore limbs and tired eyes that remind me of my part in playing part of a miracle.
I am grateful for the sweet smiles my baby brings to my face and the pure laughter he has brought into our home.
This is where health and beauty really are.
This is where life and love originate... and it is sooooo worth it.
It has been 4 months since my son was born, and my body is still not quite what it used to be, but I am grateful for these little reminders of loveliness and miracles.
I had a great friend remind me that "it took 9 months for your body to get the way it is, it will take at LEAST that to get it feeling put back together." I would like to add to her statement that I hope to embrace the changes that I have experienced because they have made me a better person. Health is more then skin deep or the absence of cellulite. It is about living a life of beautiful moments and loving who I am because of these moments.
I have learned from experience that health is about loving yourself and others despite imperfections and challenges. Health is about living a life of purpose, and feeling that purpose fulfill you. Health is about ignoring those less-then-helpful Pinterest posts about " to get back your pre-pregnant body eat this!" or "these five exercises will give you the perfect abbs!" Our health is about finding joy and spreading it, not about feeling and spreading the discontentment the media and commercial enterprises want us to feel. We are all human. There is no perfect body and because of this we are unique and beautiful.
In the past, I have added a weekly challenge to try. This week, I invite you to start to love who you are by reminding yourself what it is you love about yourself and your life. Try finding at least 10 new things everyday. I promise that it will put you on the road of finding TRUE health and happiness.
